Saturday, July 31, 2004

Personal Updates

I am proud to report that my work-out regime is still going strong! The diet thing is another story. I did well one day this past week, but the other days I hopelessly failed at sticking to my diet. I am working on this.

As for other parts of my life, well I bought a new pack of blank cds so my music burning can continue! Rave GirlI have been without a new burned cd for a couple of months now. It's horrible being that long without new tunes. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. *hee hee*



posted at 3:11 PM

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Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Today is my self-pitying day. Thinking about on the busy month that is about to end and feeling sorry for myself.

My birthday came and went and several friends of mine never acknowledged it. Even when I hinted about it later I still didn't get a "oh sorry for missing your b-day!". Nothing. I feel so unloved and sad about that. These are people who I sent e-cards to on their birthdays. My own sister even forgot to call me. When I emailed her later and told her that I missed her call she didn't even apologize. She just went into talking about other things!

I swear. There are times I feel like I give too much to people and then I expect the same back. Maybe I should just stop being so nice and thoughtful. I am having a real hard time with self-esteem this month.

I've been sticking to my workout schedule, but not my diet. I haven't lost any weight at all. Then I get snubbed on my birthday, and as a result of all of this, I just want to crawl in bed and never wake again. It's one of those months....

But I'll be okay. I just need to stop feeling so damned sorry for myself. Birthdays aren't even celebrated in some cultures! There are more important things than a birthday.

Okay, I am feeling better. Slowly...

Update: I am feeling much better! It is the end of the day and I was able to ride the wave of depression that hit me earlier. I am still hurt about it, but I am not feeling so pessimestic about things.


posted at 5:59 AM

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Thursday, July 22, 2004

 Afraid 
I'm feeling anxious these days. Looking forward to moving next year. But there are some fears that keep me up at night about the whole thing. Just the usual anxiety about moving to a new place.

Will I regret moving?

Will my husband like the job he is taking?

When will I be able to get a job?

Will my pets be okay during and right after the move?

Will we be able to find a nice neighborhood to live in until we can buy a house?

All of these things scare me. But I know my husband's family and family friends are all there to help us out if we need help. They would never let us starve or be homeless and that's comforting. But still. Those fears are still haunting me.

I think it is because nothing is set in stone yet, so since everything is just an "idea" it makes it more stressful. But we plan to get the job and living situations set in stone before we tell our landlady here that we don't plan to renew our lease in Aug 2005.



posted at 6:14 PM

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Friday, July 16, 2004

 Sit Up 
I've been sticking to my workout goals and eating goals the last few days. Let's hope this continues so that I can lose some weight. My goal is to lose 50 pounds before March 2005. I will need to lose about 2 pounds a week until then in order to make my goal. That doesn't sound hard, but it is. If I can lose this 50 pounds I will be at a healthy weight for my height. Right now I am over the standard healthy weight for my height by 40 pounds or so.
 
I can DO IT!  No Pain No Gain  

posted at 6:39 PM

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Tuesday, July 13, 2004



I am back feeling rested, relaxed, and ready to tackle my hum-drum life again. A 10 day vacation to New Jersey really changed me for the better.

So I gained 5 pounds and have a sunburn on my shoulders. Who cares? I got to swim in the ocean, shop at huge flea-markets, ride coasters on the boardwalks, have fun at a water park, gamble in Atlantic City and win, ect!

Actually, New Jersey is my husband's home and going back there really made him crave life near the ocean again. We are both sick of living here in the Mid-West. Like my hubby said, the mid-west is slowly killing us. We seem to be stuck in a time warp here. There is nothing to do, nothing to strive for and we are just empty shells doing the same crap every week. At least in South Jersey we are close to Philly, the Atlantic ocean, and we are in driving distance to NYC, Maryland, and everything in between. Life seems faster there and there also is better opportunity to grow both personally and in a career.

Now we are looking into a place to live and researching the cost to move out there for next year or the year after.

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about
  • Name: Nicole
  • Age: 28
  • Fav Board Game: Life
  • Fav Color: Yellow & Pink
  • Fav Day: Saturday
  • Fav Season: Spring
  • Loves: Kindness, consideration, & honesty
  • Hates: Backstabbing, hatred & ignorance
  • Actor I Want To Meet: Vin Diesel!
  • 100 Things About Me
  • Book I am Reading

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