Saturday, August 30, 2003

Friendship Warning: Long Post

I got into this huge argument with a friend over something that I said that he miscommunicated as meaning something else. Here is the set up: The plan was that me and my husband were going to host a BBQ at our place and then from there us and the group were going to a new bar in town. We decided among ourselves to carpool to this new place. A friend of mine, I will call him "Norman" agreed to drive me, my husband, and my brother to this new bar. We arrived and had lots of fun playing pool and drinking. At about 9:30pm three of our friends decided to head on home. So the rest of us (six in total) stayed at the bar and played a couple more games of pool. At about 10:00pm another couple decided to go home so that left the four of us from the same carpool. At that time we all decided to leave this new bar together. Right before we walked out, someone in my carpool group mentioned going to another bar to contiue the night with just the four of us. I was really tired from the long day and I just wanted to go home. So when all three of them said aloud how great it would be to go to another bar, I spoke out and said (directing this to the whole group not just one person), "Not me, I'm goin' home!" . Now you have to understand, I was not directing this to "Norman". I was simply telling the group as a whole that I would not be joining them.

When we got into "Norman's" car he told me that he wanted to drive straight to the other bar. I reluctantly said something like , "fine I guess I'll go too" but then not a second later, I had a change of heart and decided to stick to my guns about going home instead. At this point, the other couple who left the bar with us were still walking to their car so Norman said, "Why don't you just ask them to take you home?". I stalled and thought to myself "Now why would I do that? They live on this side of town so they would need to be inconvienced by taking me home when I am sitting right here in my ride's car!" So I chose to not go ask our couple friend to take me home. At this point, my brother said, "Norman, I am out of money so you might as well take me home so that I can get more cash and you can just drop her off at the same time" (Note: My brother and I live in the same neighborhood about two blocks from each other). Norman proceeded to tell my brother "No, I got you. You can just pay me back later. I don't want to drive all the way to your place since that is across town." I said "Norman, you would be killing two birds with one stone if you just drive my brother to his place for his money and then just drop me off at the same time." Norman said back "There is no two birds with that plan. I already agreed to pay your brother's way tonight so there is no need to drive all that way to your place." I said, "I would really rather go home." So he pulled out of the parking lot and my husband asked "Soooo, what are we doing then?" I said aloud that I had no idea what we were doing. Norman never answered our inquiries. We knew that he was going to my place by the streets he was taking. But the whole way there he didn't utter a sound to anyone. My brother kept trying to joke around with him but he said nothing and did nothing. He was totally shunning the whole car!

About a block from home my husband told Norman that he would walk me to the front door and let me in the house so that he could take the house keys with him. He got no response so my husband reeinterated it again right before we got out of the car. Hubby walks me to the door, unlocks it and then I notice Norman backing out of the driveway!! He was leaving my husband! I told hubby that and he said "Oh he must just be kidding, he'll be back in a second." Nope. That dude totally left him!! 5 minutes passed and still nothing! So we both started trying to call my brother and Norman. Neither of whom were answering their phones. Hubby finally got a hold of Norman and asked him what that was all about. Norman said something about feeling used and also said that he was too far down the streets to turn back around for him. Another words, hubby is stranded home and oh well. The second my husband told me that I called Norman back and ripped into him the minute he answered. I told him I did not appreciate being called a user! And where the fuck did that come from?? He explained that he felt used with the way I expected him to drive me home when he the driver wanted to go somewhere else. WTF????? So I won't go into too much gorey detail, but it came out that he thinks because HE is the driver that I must go anywhere he is going. I stand by the mindset that we agreed to go to one bar and one bar only. His obligation for driving me is to take me to that agreed on destination and then back home if I choose not to go somewhere else afterwards. Period. At this point we both decided that I feel that I am right and he feels as if HE is right so as he so eloquently put it, "Where do we go from here? Where does that leave us?" I assumed he means friendship. But I dodged that question because I was put on the spot.

We ended the convo still steaming and at this point I am soooo mad at how he mistreated my husband and now how he is treating me. So I call my best friend and vent to her and her man about this whole thing.

Husband decides after a time to drive to the bar he is at and confront Norman about how he treated him. Hubby leaves and I wait for about an hour. No word on what went down so I called hubby. He says everything is fine on his end and he explained that Norman felt very bad about stranding my husband. He apologized and said how terrible he felt about it. Norman also explained that the reason he was so pissed at me is because he thought that when I said "I am going home" that I was DEMANDING that he take me home. If I would have asked him nicely, none of this would have happened.

Alright folks, I was talking to the GROUP in response to the group's idea of going to another bar. If I happened to be looking at Norman when I said it, it was not meant to come off as a demand. Trust me, if I wanted to be that fucking rude to a friend there would be NO QUESTION about my intentions. But I do not run that way. I can't tell you how often I have people say to me what good manners I have and how considerate and caring I am towards others. Now why would I for no reason at all, decide to "demand" my ride that he take me where I need to go?

All of this was a big misunderstanding, but now the question is how do I handle it? Do I let it go and know that he wasn't being an asshole towards me for no reason? Or do I say, that is a red flag about him if he truly thought I was demanding him to do something for me in that rude way. He should know me better than that. He felt "used" by me when I said that. Any friend of mine knows me well enough to know whether I am the type to use someone or not. To even QUESTION my character that way without giving me the benefit of the doubt such as "She said that kinda rude but I am assuming she was not comin' at me like that, rather she was talking in general". Instead he automatically assumed that I must be talking directly to him and about him and that I must therefore be using him. To me that is a red flag when a friend assumes the worst about you instead of giving you the benefit of the doubt.

As my husband told me on the phone, we are both very heated over this and we are both making rash decisions and conclusions about this friendship in anger. Maybe a day or two days will clear things up and we can resolve this with a cool head.

Will my opinion about this whole thing change in two days? I don't know but I doubt it. At this point I am happy to keep him in my life but to bump him down from "friend" status to "acquaintance" status until I can feel comfortable with him again. Right now I feel like anything I say I must be guarded in how I say it to him because God forbid he assume that I am "using" him or something equally as bad. I am very forgiving in most things, but the second you decide to assume me to be anything other than a good friend and a gracious and appreciative guest for no valid reason, that raises red flags for me and I put you at arms length because I don't want to be hurt. I understand when you first meet someone that there will be no trust off the bat. That is okay and acceptable, but if I have been your friend for two years and a close friend at that, and I have NEVER treated you with anything but respect, it would be nice to have at least a benefit of the doubt if you think I am doing something not so good. Talk to me about it or something, but don't treat me and especially not my husband like shit and then expect me to come crawling back to you apologizing.

Song of the day: No More Drama-Mary J Blige

"So tired, tired of these drama
No more, no more
I wanna be free
I'm so tired, so tired"


posted at 11:02 PM

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Evanescence In Concert! Yeah!

The concert was rockin'! Culverize, Revis, and Cold played before Evanescence. I had never heard the other three bands but here is my brief run down of them really quick.

1. Culverize: Sounded like yet another band trying to be Blink 182. Not very original and too cookie-cutter for me.

2. Revis: Wow. I REALLY like their sound. Lead singer has a very very deep voice which is sexy in itself but teamed with a fairly good band it was great! I liked a couple of songs they played. Definitly a band I will be getting a cd for.

3. Cold: Not my thing. Nothing really had me excited about this band except for their hit-song "Stupid Girl". And no it is NOT a remake of Garbage's song of the same name.

The fans were very very diverse for Evanescence. When I say diverse I mean people of all colors, sexual persuasions, styles, ect. My friend who goes to metal concerts at least once a month or so told me that he has never seen such diversity among metal fans before until we went to this concert. Cool!

Another interesting note about the evening: A little girl of about 7 or 8 with a back stage pass around her neck was playing with her brother or friend near us the entire night before Evanescence came out. She was sooo cute! We weren't farther than 8 feet from her most of the night. What makes her so special? We find out when Evanescence came on that she is the daughter of John the bassist. She came onstage to help sing "Bring Me to Life" at the end of the song. It was sooo cute! Then at the end of the concert, her dad took her onstage to help throw his guitar picks to the audience. She was adorable!!

Recap: I highly recommend anyone go see Evanescence and Revis in concert. They are GREAT live and it was a fun show.

Song of the day: Going Under-Evanescence

"so go on and scream
scream at me i'm so far away
i won't be broken again"

posted at 4:54 PM

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Friday, August 29, 2003

Celebs and Blackouts

Did you SEE Madonna open mouthed kissing on Britney Spears and Christina Aguilara last night on the MTV Music Awards??? Now this is just my humble theory but I think since all three of 'em are not even half as popular as they once were, they needed to do something to create a buzz and get their faces in some newpapers and magazines so Madonna came up with the genius (yeah right) idea of showin' some female on female lovin' in front of a live tv audience for all to see. My prediction is that this is big news today. but come next week, they will be back on the lower end of the charts and only small if any news snippets of them in publications. I am sorry to say, but Britney especially is a newly formed "has-been". There is still some hope for Christina and Madonna but Britney is outta here in regards to being at her peak. They think the American public has never seen two women kissing! Of course their kisses did come as a big shock to me and my best friend while we were watching it, but when the hype dies down, it will just be seen as another desperate act from Madonna and friends. If you missed the kisses go to this link to see them up close: Oh and yes, there appears to be some tongue action on the part of Britney in these shots for all those who care.

Click Here for photos.


Speaking of music and celebs. I will be going to the Evanescence concert tonight with a good friend of mine. YAY! There is one complaint though. Why on earth did that band choose a name that is impossible to spell correctly unless one cuts and pastes it from an online story about them? My gawd people!

So what about that blackout in South London yesterday? That blew my mind! Wow! I won't go into my theories about this one because it would take me a novel to get into them, but let's just say my theories have to do with the "coincidences" between the East coast black out here in the States and the London black out yesterday. I am just surprised that US news hasn't focussed so much on it. I figured I would be hearing about it on every new station, newspaper, and radio show, but surprisingly, I've only seen blurbs of it.

Well that is it for now. I will be sure to keep you posted about the concert and how it went tomorrow or later tonight.








posted at 10:23 AM

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Thursday, August 28, 2003

Incan Inspired Backpack!!!

Sitting here at work, trying not to get caught being online when I should be working, but I am just too excited to let this go until lunch or after work.

I just bought an Incan inspired backpack handmade from wool and other things. I saw it on eBay at first but then I followed a link to a site called Novica.com which is in conjunction with National Geographic. I found that same backpack on their site and there was only one left. So I waited until today (a day before payday) to buy it. I am sooo happy it was still there! I am too impatient to wait around for an auction to close and besides, I would have probably wound up paying a lot more for it in the auction.

I will edit this post to add the link to the bag so you can see it. It is AWESOME!!! If you are reading this after the auction closes (September 1st) then you may not be able to see it since eBay closes the link when the auctions close. But I will also try to supply the link to it on the Novica site if it is still active (since I bought their last one).

Well, I better get back to work now. Stay tuned for more!

Okay, here is the link to the eBay auction so that you can see this backpack. Remember, I didn't bid on it, I just straight out bought it from the website.



Link To Backpack Here

posted at 9:47 AM

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Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Rules For Ignoramuses

Okay so I am back for another dose today. I still have some things to get off my mind before I lay down for the night.

Based on Corey, the annoying co-worker of mine I "introduced" you to earlier, and her friend "Jaycee", here are some common-sense rules that mature adults follow in their day to day communications with others (at least I hope so).

1. Do not admit in an email quiz that will be forwarded to countless co-workers and others known and unknown, that you enjoy talking about people behind their backs. And especially do not admit that you only judge a good boyfriend by the size of his private parts and how much money is in his wallet. Even if you are kidding about any or all of that, it still isn't very smart to put in an email to everyone you work with.

2. Do not talk trash on other people in emails to an acquaintance. Chances are, that person you sent the email to might be friends with the person you are trashing. It can/will get ugly.

3. Try to refrain from talking about someone behind their back too loudly. You are risking that they will hear you or that a friend of theirs who is walking by will hear you as well. You aren't invisible no matter how hard you wish you were.

4. If you and your friend do nothing but trash people all day long and every time you see each other outside of work, don't be so sure that your "friend" isn't trashing you behind your back too. Just common sense there.

5. Just know that all of your coniving and back stabbing does not go unnoticed. 70% or more of your co-workers know how you are because it gets around. When you think you are being slick there is at least 30 people that can see right through you.

And finally....what goes around comes around. I just hope none of those people you burned are going to be the only person around in your time of need. It is called "burning bridges".

How will I feel if she should ever read this for some odd reason? I just wanna know how she takes eating a bit of her own medicine. But unlike her, I DO NOT talk smack on my friends and people I respect. I am not a back stabber and I do not burn bridges left and right. That doesn't make my own rant about her and her friend any more acceptable, but at least I still have lots of redeeming qualities that her and her side kick seem to be lacking.

So, enough of the junior high mess. Let me move on now...

What ever happened to Martha Stewart? I thought she was supposed to be going to jail or something? The news on her just died out completely. Note to self: Look up Martha Stewart news on Google or something for the latest.

Alrighty, I would like to do some shamless plugging for some of my favorite websites now. I haven't figured out how to make the damn links work so that you only need to click on them to get there, but until I figure it out, just highlight said link, copy and then paste in on your browser's Address line. I suggest you open a new browser window for this so that you can keep reading my blog while you surf through some of these grooooovy sites I'll be listing.

Wanna know if a certain Urban Legend or email forward is for real? Go here for the TRUTH. http://www.snopes.com

Go here to see some funny pics of celebrity mug shots and to uncover the goods on famouse court cases. http://www.thesmokinggun.com

Make your own virtual pet and own your own virtual shop here! http://www.neopets.com

That is enough plugging for now. Don't worry, I won't be plugging very often, I hate it when others do it so I will refrain from being too big of a hipocrite anymore today. :)




posted at 6:12 PM

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Random Crap

Well another day, another dollar. I am sitting here at work on lunch (it is about to be over in about 4 minutes, so this entry should be short and sweet).

I woke up this morning with my wisdom tooth gum all swollen and stuff coming out of it. I know, I know...yuk! All four of my Wisdom teeth are fully grown but are still buried underneath the gum. They never came out. So I need to get them surgically removed. I've put it off for years, but I really need to make a consultation appointment soon before it gets worse. I looked up "tooth abscess" on Web MD and got scared into doing something about this.

Well the plans for today are to work an hour OT here at work and then go to Target to pick up some stuff we need that can't wait for payday on Friday, and then go to the gym. I doubt we will be working out tonight since by the time we get out of the store we will be too tired to do anything more than cook dinner.

There is a girl here at work, I will call her "Corey" to protect her anoymity (sp) is soooo annoying! She admits to talking about people behind their backs and she is very rude to the customers on the phone. She is young, but she acts as if she is still 15 years old. Her and her friend who sits one row away. I bring her up because I may vent about her in future entries so I just wanted to introduce you to her. I might forget the alias I gave her, but you will know who I mean when I keep referring to her as "the girl who sits next to me at work".

Well, lunch is about over. Either I type very fast, or I miscalulated how much time I had left for lunch because this entry is rather long. *lol*

posted at 11:01 AM

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Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Intro

Hi! This is my first post in a blog about my life. I also run another blog at http://usafgirl.blogspot.com

That blog is about my journey towards enlisting in the USAF.

But I wanted to start a new blog about my day to day life. Of course, I won't be writing in it daily but I will try updating whenever I need to say something or when something happens. I wouldn't want to bore you with the dull details of my life you know.

Anyhoo, welcome and I hope you enjoy your read!

>
about
  • Name: Nicole
  • Age: 28
  • Fav Board Game: Life
  • Fav Color: Yellow & Pink
  • Fav Day: Saturday
  • Fav Season: Spring
  • Loves: Kindness, consideration, & honesty
  • Hates: Backstabbing, hatred & ignorance
  • Actor I Want To Meet: Vin Diesel!
  • 100 Things About Me
  • Book I am Reading

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